A Quick Lesson on Japanese Etiquette
From the proper degree of a bow (15 to 45 degrees depending on occasion) to how a lady eats a rice cracker (broken by hand into bite size pieces with handkerchief on lap), a complex and subtle etiquette code dictates the proper way to do everything in Japan. Japanese embrace these rules because following them assures there will be no offensive or embarrassing moments.Due to increased social interaction and new technology like cellphones and computers, diversified scenarios give rise to more rules and a big demand for the latest etiquette guides. Last year, long-time former bureaucrat Mariko Bando set out to write a book on how professional women could maintain their emotional dignity in a male-dominated workplace, but her publishers urged her to cover etiquette tips like attire, manners and polite language. She complied, and “Dignity of a Woman” has become a best seller. If only the U.S. could publish a best selling etiquette book….
Manners books traditionally focused on “kan kon sou sai” - literally meaning the rites of coming of age - weddings, funerals and ancestor worship. Now they offer titles like “PTA Dictionary for Getting Along with Others and Writing Notes,” which tells you how to inform the teacher that your child has to sit out gym class or how to wiggle out of committee duties. A letter-writing guide offers tips on composing an apology note to a store where you have shoplifted two packs of gum and some AA batteries, (express deep remorse even if the items are small). Funeral preparation books offer pointers on how to be well-regarded after death. Yep, those books cover everything!
There are plenty of etiquette guides for foreign visitors, but it’s probably most important to try to do as others do instead of flaunting what you think you may know. For instance, showing off your chopstick moves. Not happening! A likely infraction that is a topic of much discussion these days is applying makeup on trains (in public). It’s become a common sight to see young women drawing their eyeliner and brushing on mascara with great dexterity in crowded morning commuter trains. Grooming is a private act that others don’t wish to observe, so take it to the ladies room.
