Nine Types of Bosses
The 9 Types of Bosses You’ll Encounter in Life
Boss #1 The Energizer Bunny This unstoppable trooper keeps going and going and going, working late every night and getting in early the next day. Known to send work-related e-mails on weekends at 3 a.m. (marked URGENT), and always arriving at the office despite the snowstorm/transit strike/earthquake/appendix operation — whether it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas Day, or New Year’s Eve.
How to handle: You can’t compete. Just keep a positive attitude and don’t feel obligated to work late nights, weekends, or holidays without overtime.
Boss #2 The Sponge Not just open to a few good ideas — open to all ideas, so long as they’re new. Whatever the financial, managerial, or social trend, this boss has heard about it, thinks it’s the best thing since sliced bread, and wants you to get on it right away.
How to handle: Treat the experience as a resume builder with each new cutting-edge application or technique (however short-lived) boosting your employability.
Boss #3 Attila the Hun This boss appears to enjoy setting impossible goals, then publicly berating staff for not delivering. Not content with idle threats, this sadist loves to follow through, as if feeding on fear and cultivating it with a revolving door.
How to handle: These bosses typically have short corporate shelf lives. Stay under the radar and wait for the inevitable office coup.
Boss #4 The BFF This boss, better known as everyone’s “best friend forever,” would have you forget all those silly job titles. Whatever your corporate rank, everyone’s equal and you’re all buddies in this boss’s workplace — whether it’s in the boardroom or a night on the town. Try to escape online, this boss will “friend” you.
How to handle: Friends or not, business isn’t always fun and games. The key here is to strike your own balance between professionalism and camaraderie.
Boss #5 The Flip Flopper This boss gets weekly revelations about what’s going to save the company, changing directions so often no one pays attention anymore. Remember that top priority project launched last month? Well, forget about it. Like a duck hunter, this boss shots down anything as it takes flight, then scares up new game.
How to handle: Don’t put too much stock in any one project, but don’t dismiss it, either. Unlike the boss, you’re judged on execution, not results.
Boss # 6 The MIA An absentee landlord, this boss cultivates a mythical status in the office that instills both fear and loathing among employees. In her absence, rumors fill the void: Is she lunching with Bill Gates? Skiing in Vale? Running a developing country? Who knows?
How to handle: Be a team player. Oddly, missing bosses can unintentionally cultivate tighter workplaces, as employees band together to get things done
Boss # 7 The Keeper of the Flame Whatever the tangled course of world history, this boss stays true to the “original vision” of the company, which is continually resuscitated by quoting chapter and verse of some unwritten founding document ostensibly responsible for “leading the business to where it is today.”
How to handle: Endurance. This boss is irreplaceably loyal and likely to be around for a while.
Boss #8 Dr. Jekyl-Mr. Hyde This boss will praise your hard work in an annual review and promise a year-end bonus, then flat-out deny having ever said anything of the sort — in fact, won’t even remember having met with you about this or any other employment related topic.
How to handle: Get everything in writing.
Boss # 9 The Cheerleader You’re down seven runs in the bottom of the ninth with two outs, but the team’s doing just terrific far as this boss is concerned. Apparently, however gloomy the outlook, a positive attitude and enough team spirit will see the company through and land Christmas bonuses, a new dental plan, and free sodas in the vending machine. Go team! Go!
How to handle: It’s easy to feel good about work when you’re always pumped up on positive feedback. Just be sure to keep your feet on the ground with a reality check.
