The Art of Sucking Up
Kissing @** is Tough Work. If You’re Going To Do It, Make Sure It’s The Right Way
There’s an art to sucking up, and if the boss (or your co-workers) can figure out what you’re up to, you’re not doing it right. More importantly, it will backfire. So while everyone calls it something different, it’s key to your success at work.
1. Speak your boss’ language. Figure out your boss’ style and adapt to it. Is your boss a huge sports fan? Learn sports metaphors and incorporate them into your conversations about work.
2. Make everything seem like it’s the boss’ idea. Instead of simply pitching the boss an idea, say something like, “Thanks for your guidance on that issue. As a result of your direction, here’s how I’d like to handle it.” That makes it seem like this bright idea you have is actually his.
3. Avoid gratuitous compliments. No need to gush over the boss’ new outfit. Instead, use compliments strategically. For instance, “That was a great idea you mentioned the other day. Here’s how I think we can execute it.”
4. Give the boss what he or she wants. If your boss is detailed and needs all your work to be the same, then do it. Give your boss the type of work he or she wants. Don’t waste time by complaining. It may not be the way you prefer to work, but it’s what your boss wants and that’s all that matters. Don’t complain or fight her about it.
5. Ask permission before offering input. This is a way of showing deference to the boss. Before offering your opinion say, “Can I give you some ideas that might enhance this project?” Or, “Would you be open to a different opinion than the one we’re talking about?” If you ask for permission to offer your thoughts, your manager will rarely say no.
6. Match the boss’ energy. If your boss is short, sequential and fast, match that. If he or she is leisurely and ponderous, match that. You get it. Each time you match the boss’ energy, you build trust and strengthen the relationship.
7. Respect the boss’ position. Remind him or her that you know who’s the boss. For instance, say, “I have these ideas, but I will defer to your decision.”
