“Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.” ~From the movie Fight Club

Researchers have found that low self-esteem and materialism are not just a correlation, but also a causal relationship where low self esteem increases materialism, and materialism can also create low self-esteem. They also found that as self esteem increases, materialism decreases. The study primarily focused on how this relationship affects children and adolescents. Researchers found that even a simple gesture to raise self-esteem dramatically decreased materialism, which provides a way to cope with insecurity.  By the time children reach early adolescence, and experience a decline in self-esteem, the stage is set for the use of material possessions as a coping strategy for feelings of low self-worth.

Most of us want more income so we can consume more. Yet as societies become richer, they do not become happier. In fact, the First World has more depression, more alcoholism and more crime than fifty years ago. This paradox is true of Britain, the United States, continental Europe and Japan. Statistically people have more things than they did 50 years ago, but they are actually less happy in several key areas. There is also the considerable cost of what materialism does to the environment. We don’t yet know what final toll that could take in terms of quality of life and overall happiness. What many people don’t understand is that if we want to save the environment then at some level we have to buy and consume less.

The reason people want whatever is currently “hot” is because they believe it will contribute towards their satisfaction and happiness in life. The word “believe” is the key here. People believe that buying more and more things will make them happy, when in fact research has shown time and time again that this simply isn’t the case.

10 Nightmare Handshakes: Which One Are You?

Handshakes have been around since the birth of civilization. In fact, they were originally a way to prove you had no weapons in your hand when meeting someone new. Nowadays, we use handshakes in meetings, greetings, offering congratulations, closing a business deal or sometimes just to say, “How’s it goin’?” No matter the basis of your handshake, it should become part of your repertoire. Handshakes are a sign of trust and help build strong relationships. Prospective employers said they’re more likely to overlook visible body piercings and tattoos than an ineffective handshake, according to a 2001 survey of human resources professionals. Plus, when you shake hands with people upon meeting, they’re two times more likely to remember you than if you didn’t shake hands. The time has come to find out if your grip is powerful, pathetic or just plain bad.

To evade making a bad first impression, losing a business deal or simply embarrassing yourself, take heed of 10 terrible grips to avoid:

1. The “Macho Cowboy”… is the almost bone-crunching clasp many businessmen use to shake hands. What are they trying to prove, anyway? There’s no need to demonstrate your physical strength when shaking another person’s hand.

2. The Wimp… is usually delivered by men who are afraid to “hurt the little lady” when shaking women’s hands. Modern female professionals expect their male counterparts to convey the same respect they’d show their male colleagues.

3. The “Dead Fish”… conveys no power. While there’s no need to revert to the macho cowboy death grip, a firm clasp is more powerful than one that barely grabs the hand.

4. The “Four Finger”… is when the person’s hand never meets your palm, and instead clasps all four fingers, crushing them together.

5. The Cold and Clammy… feels like you’re shaking hands with a snake. Warm up your hand first before grabbing someone else’s.

6. The Sweaty Palm… is pretty self-explanatory, and pretty gross. Talcum powder to the rescue.

7. The “I’ve Got You Covered” Grip… happens when the other person covers your hand with his or her left hand as if your shake is secretive.

8. The “I Won’t Let Go”… seems to go on for eternity because the other person won’t drop his or her hand. After two or three pumps, it’s time to let go.

9. The “Southpaw”… happens when the person uses the left hand to shake because the right hand has food or a drink. Always carry your drink and plate with your left hand to keep your right one free for meet and greets.

10. The “Ringed Torture”… occurs when the person’s rings hurt your hand. Try to limit the number of rings you wear on the right hand to only one or two and be mindful of any that have large stones.

Six Steps To An Effective Greeting:
1. Stand up
2. Step or lean forward
3. Make eye contact
4. Have a pleasant or animated face
5. Shake hands
6. Greet the other person and repeat his or her name

It’s All About Goals. Don’t plan to fail by failing to plan.

Most people don’t have goals. They have dreams instead. Some 97% of people don’t take the first step, writing down goals. They just keep dreaming. Millionaires, on average, read their written goals daily. This cements them (the goals) into their minds. Billionaires use “the power of three.” Billionaires read their written goals an average of three times daily, three times more often than mere millionaires.

Here’s how millionaires differ from middle class people, according to author Keith Cameron Smith, in his book “Top 10 Distinctions Between Millionaires And The Middle Class:”

1. Millionaires think long term, middle class people think short term.

2. Millionaires talk about ideas, middle class people talk about things and people.

3. Millionaires embrace change, middle class people are threatened by change.

4. Millionaires take calculated risks, middle class people are afraid of risks.

5. Millionaires continue to learn and grow, middle class people stop learning after they’re finished with school.

6. Millionaires work for profit, middle class people work for wages.

7. Millionaires believe in being generous, middle class people believe they’re unable to be generous.

8. Millionaires have multiple sources of income, middle class people have one or two income sources.

9. Millionaires focus on increasing net worth, middle class people focus on increasing their paychecks.

10. Millionaires ask questions that empower, middle class people ask questions that disempower.

By all means, even if you’re broke, the first thing to do is to get rid of your middle class mindset, which confines you to a life term in your own mental prison of self-limiting beliefs and the low expectations paupers accept passively. Whether you succeed or not, whether you are financially blessed or dirt poor, it’s up to you (not an employer and certainly not the government) to make yourself financially successful. If you’re poor, don’t blame God. Look in the mirror instead. Then get to work.

Brett Steenbarger’s Top Ten Reasons Traders Lose Their Discipline

10 ) Environmental distractions and boredom cause a lack of focus;

9 ) Fatigue and mental overload create a loss of concentration;

8 ) Overconfidence follows a string of successes;

7 ) Unwillingness to accept losses, leading to alterations of trade plans after the trade has gone into the red;

6 ) Loss of confidence in one’s trading plan/strategy because it has not been adequately tested and battle-tested;

5 ) Personality traits that lead to impulsivity and low frustration tolerance in stressful situations;

4 ) Situational performance pressures, such as trading slumps and increased personal expenses, that change how traders trade (putting P/L ahead of making good trades);

3 ) Trading positions that are excessive for the account size, created exaggerated P/L swings and emotional reactions;

2 ) Not having a clearly defined trading plan/strategy in the first place;

1 ) Trading a time frame, style, or market that does not match your talents, skills, risk tolerance, and personality.

Bring Your Own Everything

Atlanta set up secret cameras inside 5 different hotel chains from the Holiday Inn to the Ritz Carlton and caught every single one of them failing to properly wash the room’s glasses. At every single hotel, regardless of price, the glasses were simply rinsed out and left for the next guest. Some hotels used dirty bath towels to wipe the glasses. One hotel employee rinsed the glasses after cleaning the toilet—using the same gloves. Another one sprayed the glasses with blue cleaning fluid that was marked “Do not drink.” Herpes, staph, hepatitus are all at risk.  Take a look.

The Expert Service Problem

A few years ago, an economics graduate student named Henry Schneider drove his dad’s old Subaru station wagon up to Montreal. He had heard about a Canadian consumer interest group that had done undercover investigations of auto-repair shops, and he wanted to try a more academic version of its experiment. He handed the Subaru over to the mechanics working for the group, the Automobile Protection Association, for a complete inspection. They found that it had a small hole in its exhaust pipe, a blown taillight and several other relatively minor problems. Mr. Schneider took careful notes. But he also did something that no ordinary car owner would do. He asked the mechanics to show him how to mess up the car in a couple of serious but obvious ways.

They taught him how to loosen the battery cable (which can prevent a car from starting) and how to suck out coolant (which can leave an engine vulnerable to overheating). Armed with this knowledge, Mr. Schneider drove home to Connecticut and undertook a devilish little test. Schneider is trying to answer a question that has occurred to pretty much all drivers who have ever been given the unsettling news that a car needs more repairs than they had expected: Does it really? Or is the garage just looking to make some extra money off me?

Over the next few months, he took the Subaru to 40 garages, loosening the battery cable and draining some coolant before each visit and telling the same story, “We bought the car recently, and we should have had it looked at before we bought it, but we didn’t. It hasn’t started a few times. Can you check that out?” He also asked for a thorough inspection.

In most of cases, consumers aren’t sophisticated enough to make an independent judgment. That’s why they went to the expert. Economists sometimes refer to this situation as an “expert service problem,” because the same expert who is diagnosing the flaw is the one who will be paid to fix it. Anytime you call a plumber or roofer to your home or anytime you visit a doctor or dentist, you’re at risk of having an expert service problem.

Schneider’s results: Only 27 of the 40 garages did mechanics tell Mr. Schneider that he had a disconnected battery cable, the very problem to which he had pointed them by saying his car didn’t always start. Only 11 mentioned the low coolant, a problem that can ruin a car’s engine. 10 of the garages, meanwhile, recommended costly repairs that were plainly unnecessary, like replacing the starter motor or the battery. In all, only about 20% of the garages deserved a passing grade.

The Big Question: How can you be sure you’re not getting swindled? For an expensive repair, a second opinion makes sense, but it will be hard to know which garage to believe. Schneider noticed no performance difference between garages that talked him through what they found and less forthcoming garages. Until some savvy entrepreneur starts a garage-rating business, the best solution may be the oldest one: asking for a recommendation from someone who is knowledgeable enough to distinguish between good service and bad.

The Mafia’s Ten Commandments have been found after police arrested a top Godfather in Sicily.

The list of rules emerged from documents seized after the arrest of Salvatore Lo Piccolo, 65, at a secret mob meeting in Palermo, along with his son Sandro, 32, and two other godfathers.

The 10 ‘Mafiosi’ commandments are:

1. No one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.

2. Never look at the wives of friends.

3. Never be seen with cops.

4. Don’t go to pubs and clubs.

5. Always be available for Cosa Nostra (the mafia), even if your wife’s about to give birth.

6. Appointments must be respected.

7. Wives must be treated with respect.

8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.

9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.

10. People who can’t be part of Cosa Nostra are anyone with a close relative in the police, with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn’t hold to moral values.

Along with the rules, police found a holy image bearing the Mafia initiation ritual. The wording is: “I swear to be faithful to Cosa Nostra. If I should betray it, my flesh must burn, just as this image burns.” Lo Piccolo apparently carried the papers everywhere with him in a brown leather briefcase.

  $25,000 Dessert Anyone? … Anyone?

Stephen Bruce, owner of Serendipity 3, partnered with luxury jeweler Euphoria New York to create the “Frrozen Haute Chocolate,” a blend of 28 cocoas, including 14 of the most expensive and exotic from around the globe. The dessert, spelled with two Rs, is infused with 5 grams (0.2 ounces) of edible 23-karat gold and served in a goblet lined with edible gold. At the base of the goblet is an 18-karat gold bracelet with 1 carat of white diamonds.

Four years ago, Bruce unveiled a $1,000 ice cream sundae called Golden Opulence, a staple on his menu and a favorite with rock stars, socialites and other celebrities. Both desserts are sold only with advance orders. Bruce said he has received inquiries about his latest creation, mostly from Europeans planning to visit New York.

Unhealthy For Dogs? I can only imagine how schizo those dogs must be.

After a $150 initiation fee, and $49.95 in monthly membership fees, and $99.95 in annual maintenance fees—you can rent a dog for $39.95 a day on weekends and $24.95 per day on weekdays. What a steal! So when can I rent a kid? Earlier this year a San Diego-based company started renting man’s best friend for pet lovers who might want to take a dog on a long walk and maybe play a game of fetch, but don’t have the time to own a pet full time. The service caters to people who like dogs but just don’t have the time to take care of them. The customers are happy, but the ASPCA thinks it’s not healthy for the dogs.

Gale Buchwald, senior vice president of the ASPCA Pet Adoption Center and Mobile Clinic Program, said it  violates the human-animal bond. She said dogs that don’t form a strong bond with one family often end up becoming aloof and self destructive. Here’s an alternative: Volunteer to walk dogs every weekend for the local no-kill shelter. I doubt they charge for the privelage of playing with the puppies.

Roughly one-third of lottery winners find themselves in serious financial trouble or bankrupt within five years of turning in their lucky numbers

Many lottery winners end up worse off than they were before they won. “A lot of people who win are financially OK when they win,” says Susan Bradley, a certified financial planner who runs a practice specializing in helping people who come into sudden wealth. Roughly one-third of lottery winners find themselves in serious financial trouble or bankrupt within five years of turning in their lucky numbers. For many people who come into wealth suddenly — whether they win the lottery, receive an insurance settlement or an unexpected inheritance — if they have not acquired good money skills prior to this windfall, often they struggle and make poor choices.

Financial windfall coupled with reckless buying and no concept of money almost always leads to trouble. This is especially true for people who decide to use their winnings to create a new business. Sometimes people just don’t compute the numbers. The best thing to do is to hire someone with expertise handling money.

What typically happens after a lucky lottery winner are contacted by a company that actually takes money away from lottery winners. Soon after winning in April 2004, Lisa Arcand, winner of $1 million, said she was aggressively pursued by Stone Street Capital, a financial services company that offered her a lump sum of money up front in return for all or a portion of her $35,000-a-year lottery proceeds. “They call people who hit the lottery and offer to buy the ticket off you,” she said. “The offer was less than half the cash value. But I sold a piece of it — $15,000 a year, and I got $200,000 up front.” The company’s website makes it clear what the firm is all about. “Free Quote, call 1-800-LUMP-SUM,” the home page states. A link brings visitors to a page that offers a variety of options for turning 20 years of lottery payments into quick cash.

When lottery winners come in to collect their prizes, they are taken into a room called “The Winners’ Circle,” where lottery officials talk to them about how to manage their new-found money. “Sometimes the winners listen, and sometimes they don’t,” says Dan Rosenfeld, spokesman for the Massachusetts State Lottery.  “Our customer service people talk to them about the folks who are going to call them on the phone and will try to get them to sell their ticket.” The primary message from lottery employees to winners is this: Get a lawyer or a certified financial advisor.

Example of What Not To Do
When Arcand won, her enthusiasm got the best of her. One of the first things she did was throw a party for friends and family, and it rapidly spiraled out of control. “I spent $3,000 on a party at Mill City — there were 20 of us and people were ordering $200 bottles of wine,” she said. She didn’t hire a financial planner. “I talked to a few people, but determined that putting money away wasn’t worth it,” she said. She bought a house, went to Florida for vacation, got new furniture and bought a plasma TV, she said. Plus, she got her son into Central Catholic at a cost of $10,000 a year. Then she decided to open the restaurant. You can figure out the rest.

When Profanity is a Plus

Profanity in the workplace can be a morale booster and inspire a sense of team spirit. “Social” or “annoyance” swearing can be effective in many office and workplace environments while vulgar or abusive cursing should never be allowed, according to a recent study. By no means should employees ever use profanity in front of customers, according to the study published in the U.K.-based Leadership and Organization Development Journal. Taboo language, study says, can manifest itself in solidarity that helps create a much more pleasurable and productive place to work.

Men:  That’s not surprising to many workers who find toiling in droll environments far more exciting than passing the hours in a hear-a-pin drop workplace. The study points directly to all-male or male-dominated cultures — think about a football locker room or the factory floor — in which the “competitive nature of men’s speech” creates a sense of harmony and oneness. Often, workers will be within earshot of “annoyance swearing,” what the report describes as a “relief mechanism” for stress and tensions. Maybe more important, however, is that annoyance swearing replaces “primitive physical aggression.”

Women:  Female swearers are often perceived to be of a low moral standing. Men, on the other hand, can generate reverence from swearing, though they tend to tone down the use of profanity in front of women. It turns out that women tend to swear more in mixed company as a means of asserting themselves and preventing the conversation from being male-dominated.

The authors warn that repeated occurrences of swearing, threats and verbal abuse can lead to depression, stress, low morale, absenteeism, retention problems and sluggish productivity. What’s a manager to do? Banning swearing might be thought of as a form of strong leadership, but the researchers cautioned that it could tear apart that sense of solidarity or seriously decrease morale and work motivation. So swear away!

The Psychology of Profanity
Words and phrases used in profane swearing may be divided roughly into seven classes:

1. Names of deities, angels, and devils.
2. Names connected with the sacred matters of religion.
3. Names of saints, holy persons, and biblical characters.
4. Names of sacred places.
5. Words relating to the future life.
6. Vulgar words.
7. Expletives.

The occasion of profanity in general is a situation in which there is a high degree of emotion, usually of the aggressive type, accompanied by a certain feeling of helplessness. The most striking effect is that of a pleasant feeling of relief from a painful stress.

“Either there was no work or they did not want to hire somebody without papers”

For years, millions of Mexican migrants working in the United States have sent money back home to villages like this one, money that allows families to pay medical bills and school fees, build houses and buy clothes or, if they save enough, maybe start a tiny business. After years of strong increases, the amount of migrant money flowing to Mexico has stagnated. Migrants and migration experts say a flagging American economy and an enforcement campaign against illegal workers in the United States have persuaded some migrants not to try to cross the border illegally to look for work. Some have returned to Mexico and many of those who are staying in the United States are sending less money home.

Last year, migrant workers worldwide sent more than $300 billion to developing countries — almost twice the amount of foreign direct investment. But in Mexico, families are feeling squeezed. The construction slump — along with a year-old crackdown on illegal immigration at the border and in the workplace, and mounting anti-immigrant sentiment in places — has made it even harder for Mexican migrants to reach the United States and land well-paying jobs. New walls, new guards and new equipment at the border have dissuaded many from trying to cross and raised the cost for those who try to as much as $2,800. Workplace raids and stories of summary deportations stoke fears among Mexicans on both sides of the border.

With those prospects, the next generation (some of them as young as 15) seemed to have few doubts about heading to the United States. “It’s really tough to go back,” says one worker . “Now they lock you up. Before, they grabbed you and sent you back. The laws were never this tough.”

Good Looking = More Money? That’s Right. This is the real world. Most people are prejudice.  

Being overweight or sloppily dressed is worse for your career than being a poor performer. So manage your weight, and manage the image you project at work, and you’ll do wonders for your career. According to a 2005 study by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, good-looking people make more money than average-looking people for doing exactly the same work. 

Consider that there may be some rationale behind it. If you’re overweight, you’re probably not exercising every day. But regular exercise increases peoples’ ability to cope with difficult situations in the workplace and might even make people smarter. And the same self-discipline we use to make ourselves exercise regularly and eat in moderation carries over into other aspects of our lives. People who exercise regularly were found to be better at time-management and more productive than those who don’t. It’s sort of like people who have messy desks: The perception is that they’re low-performers, poor time-managers, and not clear thinkers. This might not be true at all, but the only thing they can do to overcome the perceptions of their coworkers is clean their desks. Here’s something else: Dress like you care. Building a strong brand for yourself is the only way to create a stable career in today’s workplace.

“I love new clothes. However, I like getting rid of the clothes just as quickly to go buy new ones.”

This lady who appeared on Oprah lives the life of a big house in the burbs, new cars, six beautiful kids, and spending way beyond her husband’s $5,000/month salary. Felice drops $400 a month on Starbucks, $240 on tans and manicures, and her children have no health insurance. “I have six kids and I sell their toys sometimes just because I don’t like them.”

When money runs dry, as it often does, she takes out cash advances. She handles the family finances and hides receipts from her husband underneath a baby blanket in a drawer. When I do shop, I do kind of get a rush. It makes me feel good… but afterwards, though, I get depressed. I’ll buy something even if I really don’t like it because I have to come out with something. How much trouble are they in? $135,000 in credit card debt, $1,700 a month for three cars, two mortgages at $685,000, and are two weeks behind on their mortgage payment. Yikes! Here’s what Suze Orman had to say.

Nudy Sleepwalkers on the Rise 

Workers at a chain of budget hotels are being given advice on how to deal with naked sleepwalkers.  A study by Travelodge found there had been more than 400 cases in the past year, almost all involving men. Sleep experts blame stress, alcohol abuse, lack of sleep for the disorder, eating cheese or consuming too much caffeine . A number had walked into the reception area asking for a newspaper or saying they wanted to check out. The advice includes keeping a supply of towels in reception to help preserve a guest’s dignity. Hah!

Sleepwalking 101: Sleepwalking is also called “somnambulism.” It is a parasomnia. A parasomnia involves undesired events that come along with sleep. Before walking, you might sit up in bed and look around in a confused manner. At other times, individuals may bolt from the bed and walk or run away. Your eyes are usually open and have a confused, “glassy” look to them. It can be very hard to wake a sleepwalker up. When you do wake up, you can be very confused. You might even attack the person who wakes you. Men, especially, are often violent during these episodes. Sleepwalking most often occurs in the first third of a night’s sleep or during other long sleep periods. Sleepwalking is more common in children and affects both boys and girls. The rate of it in children is as high as 17%.