Why Americans Are Going Broke 

Times are bleak for the U.S. consumer. The average household owes 20 percent more than it makes each year. The personal savings rate is in negative territory. Record numbers of Americans are losing their homes to foreclosure, and millions more are struggling to keep up with their monthly bills and obligations. And the nation’s economy isn’t in much better shape.

The government is counting on recipients not to save it or put it toward debt but to do what they’ve done best over the past 30 years: spend it. NEWSWEEK’s Jennifer Barrett spoke with author Stuart Vyse about the wisdom of such a stimulus plan and why it’s getting harder for so many Americans to stay afloat.

NEWSWEEK: You say the common assumptions about why Americans can’t hold onto their money are insufficient. Why?
Stuart Vyse: The most common assumption is that people are irresponsible and that they are not wise about their money. It’s basically victim blaming … an attempt to shift the blame onto individual consumers. The other point of view on this issue is that it is primarily the fault of predatory lending practices–the “evil” credit-card companies. One of the most important factors is the easy availability of universal credit.

The House and Senate have passed economic stimulus packages that include rebates to taxpayers, which the government is encouraging them to spend. That seems like an irresponsible message for taxpayers who have debt or no savings.

Why is it assumed that the poor and middle class are likely to spend the rebates? Because, under normal circumstances, they are the ones who have less disposable income. If you are on the lower end of the curve, you are more likely to need the money for immediate expenses.

Why wouldn’t they save it or put it toward a debt?
If they are smart, they would. The problem for most who are seriously in debt is that $600 or so doesn’t amount to much. So what can consumers do in a world designed to encourage them to overspend? Using techniques from behavioral economics, it helps if you can make saving automatic. I also recommend automatic monthly bill payments. Split your paycheck into two with some going into a bill-paying account in which you have no ATM access, and the rest should go into another account that would house your disposable income.

What would you propose the government do to help reverse the trend in consumer debt?
One of the most important things is to promote savings … and obviously we need reasonable limits on credit.

If consumers actually saved money and paid off their debt, could it hurt the U.S. economy?
One reason we have all these problems is that we are supposed to. It drives our economy. If everyone had no debt and was into saving, then our economy—as it is designed today—would not be performing as well as it should, according to economists.

When Is It Time For Financial Intervention, Mom and Dad?

When does it make sense to search for a planner for your parents? In Jennifer Openshaw’s opinion, right now. It doesn’t matter what age or stage they’re at. Problem is, the majority of Americans wait until a crisis or retirement hovers over them to take action.

You can always use a triggering event to broach the topic, such as:

• A divorce

• An illness, even a short-term one. “What if this had been more serious?”

• Loss of income, even if minor. “What if [the primary breadwinner] lost his job?”

• A refinancing or a new loan. “Why did you need to refinance? Are you having some financial pressures?”

• Unpaid credit cards, other bills - a sign of trouble

Openshaw believes the keys to success in making this happen are:

1.) Remove yourself from the process. Don’t assume that just because you’ve been down the financial-planning road or invested your money yourself that you’re the one to handle it for your parents.

2.) Bring in an independent, fee-only adviser. Most advisers will only talk to you if you have $500,000 or $1 million in assets. That is, unless they sell commission-based products. Opt for an adviser geographically close to your parents, and one who is truly objective - meaning, they’ll charge by the hour, as high as $400 depending on where you live.

As part of her search, Openshaw developed a mini-RFP (request for proposal) that outlined my requirements (location, experience, references) and her needs. Those needs might include any of the following:

• Cash-flow (budgeting)

• Retirement planning

• Investments

• Insurance (life, but maybe long-term, too)

• Taxes

3.) Give them a say in the decision. Don’t forget to allow your parents the opportunity to meet and give the “go-ahead” with your planner.

It’s weird and irrational, but it’s the way it is.

Would you rather earn $50,000 a year while other people make $25,000, or would you rather earn $100,000 a year while other people get $250,000? Assume for the moment that prices of goods and services will stay the same. Surprisingly — stunningly, in fact — research shows that the majority of people select the first option; they would rather make twice as much as others even if that meant earning half as much as they could otherwise have.

This result is one among thousands of experiments in behavioral economics, neuroeconomics and evolutionary economics conclusively demonstrating that we are every bit as irrational when it comes to money as we are in most other aspects of our lives. In this case, relative social ranking trumps absolute financial status. Here’s a related thought experiment. Would you rather be A or B?

A is waiting in line at a movie theater. When he gets to the ticket window, he is told that as he is the 100,000th customer of the theater, he has just won $100.

B is waiting in line at a different theater. The man in front of him wins $1,000 for being the 1-millionth customer of the theater. Mr. B wins $150.

Amazingly, most people said that they would prefer to be A. In other words, they would rather forgo $50 in order to alleviate the feeling of regret that comes with not winning the thousand bucks. Regret falls under a psychological effect known as loss aversion. Research shows that before we risk an investment, we need to feel assured that the potential gain is twice what the possible loss might be because a loss feels twice as bad as a gain feels good.

Each of the following mistakes can cost you $100,000.

1.) Investing too conservatively during retirement. If you follow conventional wisdom and, as you approach retirement, shift money out of stocks into more stable investments you could miss many opportunities. Instead of parking too much of your assets in bonds, invest in an asset mix that leaves enough room for Standard & Poor’s 500 stock index.

2.) Launching a divorce war. A full courtroom showdown can easily cost $250,000. Try to soften the financial impact by using a lower-cost mediation option. Or try to work on saving your marriage.

3.) Underinsuring your home. If you’ve lived in the same house for at least 10 years, it’s probably worth 50% to 100% more than you paid for it. But if you haven’t updated your homeowners insurance, you could lose those gains if disaster strikes. Ask your insurer to reassess your home’s replacement cost and adjust coverage accordingly.

4.) Overpaying for your mortgage. The annual percentage rates on mortgages in a given area can vary by close to a percentage point. Over a typical 30-year term, this can cost you $27,000 on a $299,000 home. Shop for the best mortgage rate by checking local banks, your credit union, big-lender Web sites and mortgage-related sites.

5.) Maintaining an unhealthy lifestyle. Bad health habits not only catch up with you as you age but they can also hit you in the pocketbook in the form of higher life-insurance premiums. Before you apply for life insurance, consult your doctor about the best way to get your health status in line with the “preferred plus” underwriting requirements.

6.) Paying needless fund fees. If you buy mutual funds from a broker, you could pay a commission, or “load,” of up to 5.75%. Annual expenses can also vary among funds, from 1.5% or more a year to as little as 0.1%. Fix: Choose no-load mutual funds with low expense ratios. You can buy them directly from investment companies such as Fidelity, T. Rowe Price, and Vanguard.

If you follow the 7 goal setting steps outlined in this article, you will be well on your way to becoming an expert in building the road maps to your goals.

1. Make sure the goal you are working for is something you really want, not just something that sounds good. Sure, when talking to people about your goals it sounds pretty good, and many people will be quite impressed. When setting goals it is very important to remember that your goals must be consistent with your values.

2. A goal can not contradict any of your other goals. For example, you can’t buy a $750,000 house if your income goal is only $50,000 per year. This is called non-integrated thinking and will sabotage all of the hard work you put into your goals. Non-integrated thinking can also hamper your everyday thoughts as well. We should continually strive to eliminate contradictory ideas from our thinking.

3. Develop goals in the 6 areas of life:

• Family and Home
• Financial and Career
• Spiritual and Ethical
• Physical and Health
• Social and Cultural
• Mental and Educational

Setting goals in each area of life will ensure a more balanced life as you begin to examine and change the fundamentals of everyday living. Setting goals in each area of life also helps in eliminating the non-integrated thinking we talked about in the 2nd step.

4. Write your goal in the positive instead of the negative. Work for what you want, not for what you want to leave behind. Part of the reason why we write down and examine our goals is to create a set of instructions for our subconscious mind to carry out. Your subconscious mind is a very efficient tool, it can not determine right from wrong and it does not judge. It’s only function is to carry out its instructions. The more positive instructions you give it, the more positive results you will get. Thinking positively in everyday life will also help in your growth as a human being. Don’t limit it to goal setting.

5. Write your goal out in complete detail. Instead of writing “A new home,” write “A 4,000 square foot contemporary with 4 bedrooms and 3 baths and a view of the mountain on 20 acres of land.”

Once again we are giving the subconscious mind a detailed set of instructions to work on. The more information you give it, the more clear the final outcome becomes. The more precise the outcome, the more efficient the subconscious mind can become. Can you close your eyes and visualize the home I described above? Walk around the house. Stand on the porch off the master bedroom and see the fog lifting off the mountain. Look down at the garden full of tomatoes, green beans and cucumbers. And off to the right is the other garden full of a mums, carnations and roses. Can you see it? So can your subconscious mind.

6. By all means, make sure your goal is high enough.  Shoot for the moon, if you miss you’ll still be in the stars.  Some of you might be saying that I’m not setting my goals high enough. Not so.

7. This is the most important, write down your goals. Although just the act of writing them down can set the process in motion, it is also extremely important to review your goals frequently. Remember, the more focused you are on your goals the more likely you are to accomplish them.

Sell Your Soul For $1.5 Million

With the wealth boom creating unprecedented riches and greater opportunities for gold-digging by both genders, price-tag partnerships and checkbook breakups are increasingly making headlines. Even more surprising, according to a new survey, are the going rates for today’s mercenary unions. Yet even among the workaday (or wannabe) wealthy, marrying for money has become a popular pursuit.  In an infamous personal ad posted on Craigslist this summer, a twentysomething New Yorker who described herself as “spectacularly beautiful” wrote that she was looking for a man who made at least $500,000 a year. You can read her ad here.

According to a survey by Prince & Associates, a Connecticut-based wealth-research firm, the average “price” that men and women demand to marry for money these days is $1.5 million. The survey polled 1,134 people nationwide with incomes ranging between $30,000 to $60,000 (squarely in the median range for nationwide incomes). The survey asked: “How willing are you to marry an average-looking person that you liked, if they had money?”

Fully two-thirds of women and half of the men said they were “very” or “extremely” willing to marry for money. The answers varied by age: Women in their 30s were the most likely to say they would marry for money (74%) while men in their 20s were the least likely (41%).  Women aren’t the only ones with the gold-digging impulse. In the Prince & Associates study, 61% of men in their 40s said they would marry for money. As men get older, they become more comfortable with women being the bread-winners.

The Matrimonial Price Tag Varies By Gender and Age

Asked how much a potential spouse would need to have to be money-marriage material, women in their 20s said $2.5 million. The going rate fell to $1.1 million for women in their 30s, and rose again to $2.2 million for women in their 40s. Men are cheaper! Their asking price overall was $1.2 million, with men in their 20s asking $1 million and men in their 40s asking $1.4 million. Why so low? Men’s numbers are lower because they would feel threatened by women worth several million dollars. The men aren’t going to say they want $10 million, because they wouldn’t be comfortable with a woman who’s worth so much more than they are.

Whatever the case, the prices for both men and women seem surprisingly low, given the new landscape of wealth. While $1 million or $2 million may sound like a lot to people making $30,000, it’s hardly enough to transform someone’s life or make them “rich” by contemporary billionaire standards. No one in the survey quoted a price of more than $3 million. Of course, when the mercenary marriage proves disappointing, there’s always divorce. Among the women in their twenties who said they would marry for money, 71% said they expected to get divorced — the highest of any demographic. Only 27% of men in their 40s expected to divorce.

Consider Bermuda As An Alternative? 

Bermuda’s main commercial district is home to thousands of the world’s top hedge funds. But the British colony has been struggling to catch up to its Caribbean cousins, the Caymans and British Virgin Islands, in the race for the $2 trillion hedge fund industry’s fast-growing offshore business. That could soon change.

In the next 12 months, the 22-square-mile land of pink beaches and rolling golf courses expects to raise the number of registered funds by 50% to 3,000. While Bermuda dominates the offshore insurance industry, the Cayman Islands is the epicenter for hedge funds, with about 9,000 of these loosely regulated investments registered in the British territory. But Bermuda is competing hard, having recently made registration quicker, easier and cheaper. It also touts its proximity to the United States. It is only a two-hour flight from New York, while a trip to Caymans is much longer and often involves a stopover in Florida.  

Managers who invest for foreigners or tax-exempt U.S. clients, such as pension funds and colleges, are attracted to offshore centers because costs are lower and regulatory requirements less stringent than in the United States. In return, hedge funds bring lucrative business to the offshore centers at a time when many islands are trying to diversify revenue away from tourism. To reach the ambitious goal of registering roughly 1,000 new hedge funds in the next year, Bermudans are jetting to international conferences. The primary targets are in Europe, the Middle East and Asia. For years, U.S. lawyers have urged hedge funds to set up in the Caymans. The Caymans occasionally suffer from a reputation of relaxed oversight, thanks to several recent hedge fund collapses. And the 1993 Hollywood movie “The Firm” is about a law firm whose nefarious activities include money-laundering in the Caymans.

Watch out for a growing number of trust fund babies in Asia

The opportunities for private banks in Asia Pacific are big, and still growing. The region is home to more than a quarter of the world’s high net worth individuals (HNWIs) - the industry jargon for people with $1m of investable assets. Their wealth is growing by 8.5% a year. By 2011, their combined riches will total $12,700bn.

The difference between North America and Europe? The wealth management business in Asia is a lot more diverse than in Europe or north America - in terms of providers, legal jurisdictions and customers. Potential clients might be a Japanese aristocrat whose family has been rich for generations, or a Malaysian entrepreneur who grew up in a kampong (village) and now wants to invest the proceeds of an IPO according to Islamic shariah principles.

China continues to boom - there are estimated to be at least 300,000 Chinese HNWIs. Foreign private banks are setting up branches as quickly as they can. They are starting to move inland from the wealthy cities along the coast to service the growing number of entrepreneurs in China’s West. India is also showing enormous promise too. Asian HNWIs tend to be more mobile than their counterparts in Europe or north America. That diversity may mean opportunities in providing specialist tax services, for example.

Asian clients may have very different ideas about what private bankers should do for them. A western approach based solely on analysing risk tolerance in accordance with modern portfolio theory, and recommending appropriate products, may not sit well with a customer who is just looking for share tips. It takes time to build trust with such clients, and help them to understand that wealth preservation and growth is more complicated than betting on shares on China’s overheated stock market.

The need for private banking is likely to intensify as a big wave of wealth starts to flow down the generations. “In Asia people may not be as open with me as western clients about all of their investments, so I can’t always make appropriate recommendations,” says one private banker.  The “rags-to-riches” ethnic Chinese entrepreneurs of south-east Asia are beginning to die off. Many left home to seek their fortunes as manual workers in the tin mines of Malaya, or fled China when the communists took over, to start small businesses that grew into family conglomerates. Such patriarchs learned about business the hard way. Many may not have been educated past primary school. But their grandsons - and granddaughters - may well have been to top international business schools, and have very different ideas about how the family business should be run. They may even consider whether the business should be sold off, and the cash invested instead. Watch out for a growing number of trust fund babies in Asia.

Research suggests that many rich families in Asia are ill-prepared for generational change. Only half of the 33 families surveyed in Hong Kong, India, Malaysia and Taiwan said they involved the next generation in managing the business. Many young graduates even felt that inheriting the family company would be a burden, as it constrained their career choices.

Asia, outside of Japan, and the Middle East would need 10,000 new private bankers by 2010. Private bankers need more than quantitative skills. They must watch the markets, in case the client asks their opinion. It also helps to speak a few languages, especially Chinese dialects. Such people are rare and no bank seems happy with the recruitment situation. Publicly, managers talk about providing staff with friendly environments and great career opportunities to win the battle for talent.  93% of customer relationship managers in private banks in Asia said they had been approached by rivals in the past year.  One in seven private banks risked losing a third of its staff or more. It is not unusual for entire teams to follow a talented manager and take their clients with them. 

The boom in private banking is sharpening traditional rivalries between the north and south-east Asian hubs of Hong Kong and Singapore. Both have trustworthy reputations as financial centres. Wealth managers have traditionally clustered in Hong Kong. But Singapore, which has the world’s fastest growing population of dollar millionaires, has been catching up.

If you love each other, shouldn’t you be able to live and work together, right?

For many couples, this major decision is the ticket to wealth, self-actualization and happiness. For others, it can lead to severe financial and relationship stress. Such a move takes more than planning; it requires a full assessment of your personalities and your money issues to determine whether working and living side by side is right for you. Your first step should be a visit to a trusted certified financial planner. Here are some key steps to consider:

Give yourselves a timetable to startup. You might be tempted to give notice tomorrow morning, but it’s much wiser to lay out a timetable over the coming months with specific tasks, goals and objectives.

Study the viability of your business model. Talk about worst-case scenarios. Bring in trusted advisors to ask tough questions about what you’re planning to do and the viability of your idea. Convincing each other you’ll make it work isn’t enough.

Draft a business plan. Even if you don’t anticipate the need to seek outside financing, it is always a good idea to formalize your ideas with a business plan. Include profit and loss projections, so that you have a benchmark for evaluating your progress at a given point in time. Factor in both best- and worst-case scenarios, which could help with decisions down the road.

Understand how your tax situation will change. Depending on which business structure you choose, you may need to plan for income taxes, self-employment taxes and payroll taxes. You want to make sure you have reserves set aside for these liabilities. 

Set a spending plan for your business and personal life. Since startups have unpredictable cash inflows, you will want to establish adequate emergency funds–both business and personal–to carry you through the startup phase.

Set boundaries. Couples who live and work together need to assess whether they want to keep their work and personal lives separate. Some people are comfortable discussing their personal lives at work, while others make it clear that during working hours, they are at work and won’t discuss personal matters.

Make sure your legal documents are in order. If you haven’t had your estate planning documents updated in a while or don’t have them at all, this is a great time to have them drafted. Don’t forget to tell your attorney about your new business venture, which should be factored into the equation.

Plan for your kids in the business. There may be good opportunities to employ children for work commensurate with their skills.

 How Well Are You Dealing With Stress?

One-third of Americans are living with extreme stress and nearly half of Americans (48%) believe that their stress has increased over the past five years. Stress is taking a toll on people — contributing to health problems, poor relationships and lost productivity at work, according to a new national survey released today by the American Psychological Association (APA).

Money and work continue as the leading causes of stress for three quarters of Americans. Nearly half of all Americans report that stress has a negative impact on both their personal and professional lives. Stress causes more than half of Americans (54%) to fight with people close to them. One in four people report that they have been alienated from a friend or family member because of stress, with 8% connecting stress to divorce or separation.

Stress in America continues to escalate and is affecting every aspect of people’s lives — from work to personal relationships to sleep patterns and eating habits, as well as their health. Physical symptoms of stress include: fatigue); headache; upset stomach; muscle tension; change in appetite; teeth grinding; change in sex drive and feeling dizzy.  Psychological symptoms of stress include: experiencing irritability or anger,  feeling nervous, lack of energy and feeling as though you could cry.  In addition, almost half (48%) of Americans report lying awake at night due to stress.

While many Americans recognize that stress has a negative impact on their health, they may lack the motivation to make lifestyle and behavior changes. Only 35% report that they would modify their behavior following the diagnosis of a chronic condition. Encouragement from a spouse or partner would motivate 38% to make behavioral changes.

What An Auction Consumer Should Be Aware Of

Auctioneer Tricks   Let’s say an oil painting drops to $300.00 and several hands shoot up. The correct procedure is for the auctioneer to acknowledge the first bidder he sees or, if he sees several at once, to just pick one and carry on from there. But here’s the trick… A slick and slippery auctioneer will see three hands go up at once (each intending to bid $300.00), and he’ll point quickly to each, “$300.00, now $325.00, now $350.00″ There are two things wrong with this: First, none of those bidders offered a bid any higher than $300.00. Second, those two bids above $300.00 were “phantom bids” to the tune of $50.00. That’s illegal. It’s an offense reportable to the state licensing board.

So why would bidders allow an auctioneer to assign them higher phantom bids that they didn’t make? The auction is so fast-paced and adrenaline-charged that the auctioneer’s sleight-of-hand may not immediately register. They also probably defer to the auctioneer’s authority thinking, “Well, I had my hand in the air.” And most people do not know this little secret: By law, a bidder may retract his or her bid at any time before the auctioneer says “SOLD!”
[ Uniform Commercial Code §2-328(3) ]

At a live auction this means interrupting the auctioneer and bringing the sale to a temporary halt, which is another reason bidders let auctioneers get away with such antics.

Shill Bids As most people know, shill bidding is a scam whereby the auctioneer has one or more cronies pose as bidders to run up the final auction price. At live auctions, shill bidding is so transparent and risky as to be downright stupid. At a live auction you can watch for phantom bids and shill bids by standing in the back of the the crowd and observing both the auctioneer and the bidders simultaneously.

Reserve or Absolute? Per the Uniform Commercial Code [ §2-328(3) ], all auctions are deemed to be with reserve unless stated otherwise. If the advertising doesn’t specify “absolute,” then it’s automatically a reserve auction. This doesn’t necessarily mean that every item will have a minimum price. Most items probably will be sold absolute, even at a reserve price auction. It just means the auctioneer, acting on behalf of the seller, retains the right of refusal.

Buyer Beware As soon as you win something at auction, the staff will immediately hand it over to you. As the auction progresses, piles of merchandise will begin to accumulate around each buyer. Why don’t they just mark these items with your bidder number (like they do with large items) and hold them until you’re ready to leave? Under the arcana of auction law, the sale is consummated when the auctioneer says “SOLD!”, not when you check out and pay. Therefore, the risk of theft or damage immediately passes to you…unless the auction company volunteers to safeguard your purchases. And this is why your auction winnings get dropped in your lap forthwith.

The Top 10 Most Annoying Hidden Hotel Fees

The Resort Fee
“Why, then, would a resort tack on an additional $10 to $25 resort fee for each day of your stay, even if you never go near the pool or the beach? Because it can.”
Telephone Fees
“AT&T would charge our hotel 10 cents per local call. The hotel would then charge the guest between $1.50 and $2. Long distance was even worse. It’s a very easy way to add to the bottom line.”
The Energy Fee
“In reality, the fee has nothing to do with the amount of energy you actually consume during your stay. It just is what it is.”
The Technology Fee
“You’d think by now hotels would be scrambling to offer free high-speed Internet access as a competitive advantage, but that’s often not the case.”
The Groundskeeping Fee
“Here’s hoping you enjoy looking at the rose bushes that line the resort’s driveway. They could cost you an additional few bucks in “groundskeeping fees,” one of the more absurd fees that some resorts have come up with.”
The Towel Fee
Proceed with caution, especially at poolside, where cabana boys will offer you extra towels and then ask for your room number.”
The Safe Fee
“One could easily argue that a fee for an in-room safe is fair…if you actually use the safe. What’s unfair is charging you $3 a day just for the privilege of sleeping in the same room with a safe even if you never touch it. ”
The Housekeeping and Bellman Fees
“Maids and bellmen work hard for the money, and they depend on tips to supplement their income. That’s fine, but the tips should be up to you, not up to the hotel, which may assess mandatory gratuities but not tell you until you check out, long after you’ve already put cash in hands all around the hotel.”
The Parking Fee
“Hotels routinely get away with charging $20 or more per night (plus tips) for mandatory valet parking, even if there’s a convenient hotel parking lot just steps away.”
The Mineral Water Fee
“How nice to see a bottle of Evian or Fiji water on the credenza next your bed, just begging to be the quencher of your traveler’s thirst. And how utterly frustrating to be charged a $7 anti-dehydration fee.”

Your Children Can Easily Learn To Be Takers and Not Givers

So many people ask how to teach their kids about money, hoping they can get a 1-2-3 formula to use that will help their child become a wise caretaker of his/her money. Many parents ask this question because they are terrified that their children will turn out just like themselves when it comes to spending money. They hope that the “Do as I say, not as I do” method might actually work in this case. They almost always learn by example. They learn from your examples, dad and mom.

STEP 1 Put into practice the things that you want your children to learn. If you expect a 5, 6, or 7 year old to learn to handle money wisely, surely you as a grown adult will be capable of doing it too.

STEP 2 The second step in the formula is to teach children how to earn money before they learn how to handle it. This should seem logical and you may say, “Well of course everyone knows that!” But do they? The people we deal with on a daily basis don’t seem to know that. How many people do you know that spend money they haven’t even earned? How many dollars worth of credit card debt do you have? Isn’t that spending money you haven’t earned yet?

The best way to help children learn positive work ethics and give them a chance to earn money is through chores. There is nothing wrong with age appropriate chores and jobs. Chores help to teach children the weights and balances of earning and spending. If you earn $10, you can spend $10. A lot of parents live with the idea that one can spend $10 and then frantically try to work to get $10 to pay for it. Another alternative that seems to be gaining popularity is to mooch off of someone like their parents or to become indebted to a credit card company.

It’s no wonder children are getting confused.  It is because they are receiving mixed messages from dad and mom. This is why it is so important for parents to get their acts together first. Whatever you do, don’t give your children allowances when they haven’t earned them. You are doing your children a great injustice when you do this. They learn early on that they don’t have to do a thing because mom and dad will pay for it. Twenty years later, parents find themselves with a 28-year-old man sitting on their couch.

By giving kids money and “stuff” without having to earn it, they learn to be takers and not givers. Then we wonder why, as adults, they have the attitude that the world owes them something for nothing. They have learned that they have no reason to bother to lift a finger to contribute to society. If you’re “tight with money”, children have a very keen sense of justice. They usually know when mom and dad are not paying them because things are in “crisis” mode.

STEP 3 is to be sure and teach your child about savings. There is no better way for a child to learn to save than for that child to quickly spend all of his money at a bubble gum machine and on candy bars and then see a sibling, who has carefully saved, be able to buy a really cool toy the next time they go shopping. Another way for kids to learn about saving is, when they desire something very much, to have mom or dad tell them to save their money for it. You can’t break down and buy it for them because you will defeat the purpose. Just wait and after a while, you will come to realize how exciting it is for a child to save and save and then finally reach their goal’s end.

With more money comes more responsibility. Keep the amount of money you give your children in proportion to how responsible they are. This will help them to learn to use their money wisely rather than to waste it because they have more than they know what to do with. Teach your children to use a small part of their money to buy gifts and to give to others. Remember, the whole object is to learn to be wise stewards of their money and to be givers not takers.

Here are 10 possible reasons you aren’t a millionaire:  

Take a hard look at the list, and do some reflecting. If you want to be a millionaire, it’s well within your power, but you’ll have to face the issues that are currently keeping you from creating that wealth before you will have a chance to call yourself one.

1. You Care What Your Neighbors Think: If you’re competing against them and their material possessions, you’re wasting your hard-earned money on toys to impress them instead of building your wealth and self-esteem.

2. You Aren’t Patient: Until the era of credit cards, it was difficult to spend more than you had. That is not the case today. If you have credit card debt because you couldn’t wait until you had enough money to purchase something in cash, you are making others wealthy while keeping yourself in debt.

3. You Have Bad Habits: Whether it’s smoking, drinking, gambling or some other bad habit, the habit is using up a lot of money that could go toward building wealth. Most people don’t realize that the cost of their bad habits extends far beyond the immediate cost.

4. You Have No Goals: It’s difficult to build wealth if you haven’t taken the time to know what you want. If you haven’t set wealth goals, you aren’t likely to attain them. You need to do more than state, “I want to be a millionaire.” You need to take the time to set saving and investing goals on a yearly basis and come up with a plan for how to achieve those goals.

5. You Haven’t Prepared: Bad things happen to the best of people from time to time, and if you haven’t prepared for such a thing to happen to you through insurance, any wealth that you might have built can be gone in an instant.

6. You Try to Make a Quick Buck: For the vast majority of us, wealth doesn’t come instantly. You may believe that people winning the lottery are a dime a dozen, but the truth is you’re far more likely to get struck by lightning than win the lottery.

7. You Rely on Others to Take Care of Your Money: You believe that others have more knowledge about money matters, and you rely exclusively on their judgment when deciding where you should invest your money. Unfortunately, most people want to make money themselves, and this is their primary objective when they tell you how to invest your money.

8. You Invest in Things You Don’t Understand: Your hear that Bob has made a lot of money doing it, and you want to get in on the gravy train. If Bob really did make money, he did so because he understood how the investment worked. Throwing in your money because someone else has made money without fully understanding how the investment works will keep you from being wealthy.

9. You’re Financially Afraid: You are so scared of risk that you keep all your money in a savings account that is actually losing money when inflation is put into the equation, yet you refuse to move it to a place where higher rates of return are possible because you’re afraid that you will lose money.

10. You Ignore Your Finances: You take the attitude that if you make enough, the finances will take care of themselves. If you currently have debt, it will somehow resolve itself in the future. Unfortunately, it takes planning to become wealthy. It doesn’t magically happen to the vast majority of people.

Many parents say they will do anything for their children. But that doesn’t mean you have to go out on a financial precipice. Median Price Per Child: $338,000  

Children born in the U.S. today will cost their parents more than $338,000, on average, by the time they graduate from a public college. Send your precious offspring to a private university, and you can expect to shell out an additional $70,300 for tuition. Think education is your only big tab? Think again. Just keeping a roof over junior’s head will cost nearly $105,000 through age 18. Food will eat up $41,400, and health care will set you back $17,400 over 18 years.

Experts say the best way to plan for many of the biggest expenditures, be it college, vacations, child care, summer camp, or a Bar Mitzvah, is to set aside individual reserves of cash for each goal.  Most people don’t do that. Instead, they just throw it on a credit card and worry about it later. A good plan is an automatic investment program that transfers money out of your bank account on a recurring basis. Businessweek asked financial planners and advisers for additional strategies and tips on planning and saving for some of the biggest costs of child rearing.

College: Since this is your biggest potential expenditure, start saving as soon as possible, ideally within the first year of your child’s birth. Your best bet is probably a what’s known as a 529 college savings plan because the money accrues tax-deferred—and some states let you put away as much as $300,000. Here’s a good calculator to give you an idea why you should start saving now.

Housing: Aside from college, one of the biggest costs associated with raising children is providing shelter, which amounts to more than $100,000 per child over an 18-year span. The bulk of those costs go toward a mortgage, property taxes, maintenance, repairs, utilities, and furnishings. You can save money by handling some home maintenance yourself—but only tasks you’re capable of doing well.

Food: It certainly helps to shop in bulk at stores like Costco and Sam’s Club, but make sure you bring a list and stick to it. Another smart way to keep food costs in line is to learn to cook.

Activities: Extracurricular activities can get very expensive, with an average cost of $35,000 over an 18-year period. While your son or daughter might play ice hockey for just five months out of the year, your best bet is to set money aside year-round to finance things like the cost of team membership, additional ice time, travel, and equipment. Though parents may want to expose kids to many different experiences, one way to limit expenses is to focus your children on a few activities they are passionate about.

Child and Health Care: Costs for child care and health care are significant, though they vary wildly around the country. Find out whether your employer offers a child-care or health-care flexible spending account. If you are in the 28% federal tax bracket and live in a state with a 5% tax rate, a $5,000 annual contribution saves you $1,650 in taxes.