The Right Pressures or Incentive Will Cause Anybody To Lie

Here are some stats and tips on how to tell if someone is lying to your face:

• Skilled liars don’t break a sweat, but the rest of us get a little fidgety. Four possible giveaways: shifty eyes, higher vocal pitch, perspiration and heavier breathing. Of course, not everyone who doesn’t meet your gaze is a liar. Certain behavioral traits, like averting eye contact, could be cultural and not indicative of a liar

• Another clue: imprecise pronouns. To psychologically distance themselves from a lie, people often pepper their tales with second- and third-person pronouns like “you,” “we” and “they.” So when we lie, we pause longer and speak slower than normal and often experience speech disturbances that serve as gap fillers, such as “um,” “er” and “ah.”

• Upward inflections: We upwardly inflect our words when asking a question. You may have noticed that some salespeople will upwardly inflect certain statements of fact. This is a red flag that should alert you to potential deception.

• Liars are also more likely to ask that questions be repeated and begin responses with phrases like, “to tell you the truth,” and “to be perfectly honest.“

• Touching the nose: We have erectile tissues in our noses, which engorge with blood when we lie. This causes a tingling or itching sensation that requires a nose touch to satisfy.

• Neck rub: We rub our necks because of the stress we experience when we feel that an obstacle may be insurmountable.

• Eye rub: An eye rub is an indicator of disbelief.

• Women are more likely to lie to make other people feel good, while men tend to lie to make themselves look better.

Parallel Lessons

• Let Them Cry   Sometimes, no matter how hard it may be, you need to let them cry it out. Whether it’s an employee who wants more of something but hasn’t quite earned it yet or a baby who is overtired and needs to sleep, you can’t always get what you want. As a parent and a CEO, you can’t always give them what they ask for.
• Count to 10   Losing your temper is not a good way to show that you are in charge and worthy of respect. It’s also not a good way to help your staff/child improve. Count to 10 before you react, and think about how a measured response will get you much better results. I’ve found that in most cases when I’m really angry, it’s a very temporary thing.
• Let Them Fail   There are many times when you just need to sit back and watch people fail for their own good. Employees need to botch a sale, sometimes, in order to learn how to do it correctly. Kids have to fall down when trying to stand, walk or ride a bike. If you save either from the mistakes before they happen, you’ll deprive them of the chance to learn important lessons firsthand.
• Carrots, Not Sticks   This is a wonderful lesson that really works with kids. Rewarding good behavior creates a desire to behave well without all the trauma of avoiding pain.
• Be the Boss/Parent   There is a desire among bosses to be friendly with your staff. When push comes to shove, you have to be able to separate as a friend and be the boss. There is a huge difference between being friendly and being friends. Parents are in the same boat — you can love your kids, but you are not their friend. You need to have that separation for times when you need to use your authority.

Your Children Can Easily Learn To Be Takers and Not Givers

So many people ask how to teach their kids about money, hoping they can get a 1-2-3 formula to use that will help their child become a wise caretaker of his/her money. Many parents ask this question because they are terrified that their children will turn out just like themselves when it comes to spending money. They hope that the “Do as I say, not as I do” method might actually work in this case. They almost always learn by example. They learn from your examples, dad and mom.

STEP 1 Put into practice the things that you want your children to learn. If you expect a 5, 6, or 7 year old to learn to handle money wisely, surely you as a grown adult will be capable of doing it too.

STEP 2 The second step in the formula is to teach children how to earn money before they learn how to handle it. This should seem logical and you may say, “Well of course everyone knows that!” But do they? The people we deal with on a daily basis don’t seem to know that. How many people do you know that spend money they haven’t even earned? How many dollars worth of credit card debt do you have? Isn’t that spending money you haven’t earned yet?

The best way to help children learn positive work ethics and give them a chance to earn money is through chores. There is nothing wrong with age appropriate chores and jobs. Chores help to teach children the weights and balances of earning and spending. If you earn $10, you can spend $10. A lot of parents live with the idea that one can spend $10 and then frantically try to work to get $10 to pay for it. Another alternative that seems to be gaining popularity is to mooch off of someone like their parents or to become indebted to a credit card company.

It’s no wonder children are getting confused.  It is because they are receiving mixed messages from dad and mom. This is why it is so important for parents to get their acts together first. Whatever you do, don’t give your children allowances when they haven’t earned them. You are doing your children a great injustice when you do this. They learn early on that they don’t have to do a thing because mom and dad will pay for it. Twenty years later, parents find themselves with a 28-year-old man sitting on their couch.

By giving kids money and “stuff” without having to earn it, they learn to be takers and not givers. Then we wonder why, as adults, they have the attitude that the world owes them something for nothing. They have learned that they have no reason to bother to lift a finger to contribute to society. If you’re “tight with money”, children have a very keen sense of justice. They usually know when mom and dad are not paying them because things are in “crisis” mode.

STEP 3 is to be sure and teach your child about savings. There is no better way for a child to learn to save than for that child to quickly spend all of his money at a bubble gum machine and on candy bars and then see a sibling, who has carefully saved, be able to buy a really cool toy the next time they go shopping. Another way for kids to learn about saving is, when they desire something very much, to have mom or dad tell them to save their money for it. You can’t break down and buy it for them because you will defeat the purpose. Just wait and after a while, you will come to realize how exciting it is for a child to save and save and then finally reach their goal’s end.

With more money comes more responsibility. Keep the amount of money you give your children in proportion to how responsible they are. This will help them to learn to use their money wisely rather than to waste it because they have more than they know what to do with. Teach your children to use a small part of their money to buy gifts and to give to others. Remember, the whole object is to learn to be wise stewards of their money and to be givers not takers.

Many parents say they will do anything for their children. But that doesn’t mean you have to go out on a financial precipice. Median Price Per Child: $338,000  

Children born in the U.S. today will cost their parents more than $338,000, on average, by the time they graduate from a public college. Send your precious offspring to a private university, and you can expect to shell out an additional $70,300 for tuition. Think education is your only big tab? Think again. Just keeping a roof over junior’s head will cost nearly $105,000 through age 18. Food will eat up $41,400, and health care will set you back $17,400 over 18 years.

Experts say the best way to plan for many of the biggest expenditures, be it college, vacations, child care, summer camp, or a Bar Mitzvah, is to set aside individual reserves of cash for each goal.  Most people don’t do that. Instead, they just throw it on a credit card and worry about it later. A good plan is an automatic investment program that transfers money out of your bank account on a recurring basis. Businessweek asked financial planners and advisers for additional strategies and tips on planning and saving for some of the biggest costs of child rearing.

College: Since this is your biggest potential expenditure, start saving as soon as possible, ideally within the first year of your child’s birth. Your best bet is probably a what’s known as a 529 college savings plan because the money accrues tax-deferred—and some states let you put away as much as $300,000. Here’s a good calculator to give you an idea why you should start saving now.

Housing: Aside from college, one of the biggest costs associated with raising children is providing shelter, which amounts to more than $100,000 per child over an 18-year span. The bulk of those costs go toward a mortgage, property taxes, maintenance, repairs, utilities, and furnishings. You can save money by handling some home maintenance yourself—but only tasks you’re capable of doing well.

Food: It certainly helps to shop in bulk at stores like Costco and Sam’s Club, but make sure you bring a list and stick to it. Another smart way to keep food costs in line is to learn to cook.

Activities: Extracurricular activities can get very expensive, with an average cost of $35,000 over an 18-year period. While your son or daughter might play ice hockey for just five months out of the year, your best bet is to set money aside year-round to finance things like the cost of team membership, additional ice time, travel, and equipment. Though parents may want to expose kids to many different experiences, one way to limit expenses is to focus your children on a few activities they are passionate about.

Child and Health Care: Costs for child care and health care are significant, though they vary wildly around the country. Find out whether your employer offers a child-care or health-care flexible spending account. If you are in the 28% federal tax bracket and live in a state with a 5% tax rate, a $5,000 annual contribution saves you $1,650 in taxes.

10 Nightmare Handshakes: Which One Are You?

Handshakes have been around since the birth of civilization. In fact, they were originally a way to prove you had no weapons in your hand when meeting someone new. Nowadays, we use handshakes in meetings, greetings, offering congratulations, closing a business deal or sometimes just to say, “How’s it goin’?” No matter the basis of your handshake, it should become part of your repertoire. Handshakes are a sign of trust and help build strong relationships. Prospective employers said they’re more likely to overlook visible body piercings and tattoos than an ineffective handshake, according to a 2001 survey of human resources professionals. Plus, when you shake hands with people upon meeting, they’re two times more likely to remember you than if you didn’t shake hands. The time has come to find out if your grip is powerful, pathetic or just plain bad.

To evade making a bad first impression, losing a business deal or simply embarrassing yourself, take heed of 10 terrible grips to avoid:

1. The “Macho Cowboy”… is the almost bone-crunching clasp many businessmen use to shake hands. What are they trying to prove, anyway? There’s no need to demonstrate your physical strength when shaking another person’s hand.

2. The Wimp… is usually delivered by men who are afraid to “hurt the little lady” when shaking women’s hands. Modern female professionals expect their male counterparts to convey the same respect they’d show their male colleagues.

3. The “Dead Fish”… conveys no power. While there’s no need to revert to the macho cowboy death grip, a firm clasp is more powerful than one that barely grabs the hand.

4. The “Four Finger”… is when the person’s hand never meets your palm, and instead clasps all four fingers, crushing them together.

5. The Cold and Clammy… feels like you’re shaking hands with a snake. Warm up your hand first before grabbing someone else’s.

6. The Sweaty Palm… is pretty self-explanatory, and pretty gross. Talcum powder to the rescue.

7. The “I’ve Got You Covered” Grip… happens when the other person covers your hand with his or her left hand as if your shake is secretive.

8. The “I Won’t Let Go”… seems to go on for eternity because the other person won’t drop his or her hand. After two or three pumps, it’s time to let go.

9. The “Southpaw”… happens when the person uses the left hand to shake because the right hand has food or a drink. Always carry your drink and plate with your left hand to keep your right one free for meet and greets.

10. The “Ringed Torture”… occurs when the person’s rings hurt your hand. Try to limit the number of rings you wear on the right hand to only one or two and be mindful of any that have large stones.

Six Steps To An Effective Greeting:
1. Stand up
2. Step or lean forward
3. Make eye contact
4. Have a pleasant or animated face
5. Shake hands
6. Greet the other person and repeat his or her name

Bring Your Own Everything

Atlanta set up secret cameras inside 5 different hotel chains from the Holiday Inn to the Ritz Carlton and caught every single one of them failing to properly wash the room’s glasses. At every single hotel, regardless of price, the glasses were simply rinsed out and left for the next guest. Some hotels used dirty bath towels to wipe the glasses. One hotel employee rinsed the glasses after cleaning the toilet—using the same gloves. Another one sprayed the glasses with blue cleaning fluid that was marked “Do not drink.” Herpes, staph, hepatitus are all at risk.  Take a look.

The Expert Service Problem

A few years ago, an economics graduate student named Henry Schneider drove his dad’s old Subaru station wagon up to Montreal. He had heard about a Canadian consumer interest group that had done undercover investigations of auto-repair shops, and he wanted to try a more academic version of its experiment. He handed the Subaru over to the mechanics working for the group, the Automobile Protection Association, for a complete inspection. They found that it had a small hole in its exhaust pipe, a blown taillight and several other relatively minor problems. Mr. Schneider took careful notes. But he also did something that no ordinary car owner would do. He asked the mechanics to show him how to mess up the car in a couple of serious but obvious ways.

They taught him how to loosen the battery cable (which can prevent a car from starting) and how to suck out coolant (which can leave an engine vulnerable to overheating). Armed with this knowledge, Mr. Schneider drove home to Connecticut and undertook a devilish little test. Schneider is trying to answer a question that has occurred to pretty much all drivers who have ever been given the unsettling news that a car needs more repairs than they had expected: Does it really? Or is the garage just looking to make some extra money off me?

Over the next few months, he took the Subaru to 40 garages, loosening the battery cable and draining some coolant before each visit and telling the same story, “We bought the car recently, and we should have had it looked at before we bought it, but we didn’t. It hasn’t started a few times. Can you check that out?” He also asked for a thorough inspection.

In most of cases, consumers aren’t sophisticated enough to make an independent judgment. That’s why they went to the expert. Economists sometimes refer to this situation as an “expert service problem,” because the same expert who is diagnosing the flaw is the one who will be paid to fix it. Anytime you call a plumber or roofer to your home or anytime you visit a doctor or dentist, you’re at risk of having an expert service problem.

Schneider’s results: Only 27 of the 40 garages did mechanics tell Mr. Schneider that he had a disconnected battery cable, the very problem to which he had pointed them by saying his car didn’t always start. Only 11 mentioned the low coolant, a problem that can ruin a car’s engine. 10 of the garages, meanwhile, recommended costly repairs that were plainly unnecessary, like replacing the starter motor or the battery. In all, only about 20% of the garages deserved a passing grade.

The Big Question: How can you be sure you’re not getting swindled? For an expensive repair, a second opinion makes sense, but it will be hard to know which garage to believe. Schneider noticed no performance difference between garages that talked him through what they found and less forthcoming garages. Until some savvy entrepreneur starts a garage-rating business, the best solution may be the oldest one: asking for a recommendation from someone who is knowledgeable enough to distinguish between good service and bad.

Here’s 20 Websites Loaded with Coupon Codes, Bargains, Cash Back Deals, Etc.

If you hate crowds, don’t bother trying to tell yourself this year will be okay in the malls. Thank goodness there’s internet shopping.  Kiplinger.com tested and picked 20 Web sites we think are easy to use and will help you save money this holiday season. Take a look!

Credit card reward cards are extremely popular but odds are you aren’t getting the most out of yours. Some of the greatest rewards your credit card offer are the ones they don’t advertise.

 An interesting article from DumbLittleMan about getting the most of your CCs.

1.  Choose the Right Card   Finding the right rewards card is the first and most important step towards maximizing your rewards. About 95% of all rewards cards offer the exact same reward; 1% cash back. They each package it differently such as airline miles, points, cash, hotel discounts, etc., but the truth is a “point” or “mile” is generally worth 1 cent. There are a handful of cards out there offering 1.25% or 1.5% cash back. By using these cards you’ll earn 25%-50% more rewards than you would otherwise.

2.  Don’t Be a Sucker for Promo Rates   Why settle for 1.5% when I saw a commercial last night advertising 5% cash back? The reason is these promo rates have ridiculously low limits which you’re going to hit very quickly when trying to maximize your rewards. Afterwards they drop to the standard 1%.

3.  Opt for Cash Back
Take the cash back. There’s no sense in dealing with the headaches and restrictions that come with the points or miles when they are not providing you any extra benefit.

4.  Find Cards that Offer Benefits without Spending
Some cards can offer you significant benefits without you ever spending a dime. For instance, the Citi Drivers Edge card offers you one point (i.e. one cent) for every mile you drive in your car. You just send them a copy of your last oil change statement that shows the mileage on the card and they’ll send you the cash. There are also cards that offer a free companion airline ticket (Amex). By using these only when you want to take a trip you can still save 50% on your flights.

 A file with the answer to “what are you good for?”

The basic idea is simple: you just keep a file of good stuff you do.  When you figure out some trick new process that saves hours per week, you make a note about (don’t forget to datestamp it) and drop it in the yay-me file.  When you finish a project on time and under budget, you make a note that points to supplementary project files and you drop it in the yay-me file. Got a thank you card, drop it in the yay-me file.  Since it’s only your eyes on the yay-me file, you can feel free to drop in even the most trivial bits good cheer.

The reason for the yay-me file is two-fold.  First, when you feel like you need to patch your personal suck you can crack open the yay-me file for a blast of good vibes from the past.   The yay-me file reminds you that you aren’t always lame and that you make good decisions and you do good work.  And gosh darnit, people like you!

Here are 15 hand-picked articles from the Consumerist.

THE NICE ROUTE
How To Complain
How To Write A Complaint Letter (Remember that if you can find the appropriate bodies that oversee the company’s industry, CCing your complaint letter to them can help)
How To Record Customer Service Calls
How To Never Get In Trouble For Recording Customer Service Calls
How To Escalate To The Most Powerful Levels Of Customer Service

THE HARDBALL ROUTE
The Underlying Principle For Forcing An Uncaring And Adversarial Company Fix Your Problem
How To Launch An Executive Email Carpet Bomb
Unlawfully Billed? Threaten To Report Them For Mail Fraud
How To Fax A Company To Death That’s Ignoring You
How To Get Your Problem Solved By Posting It To A Company’s Stock Forums
How To Start An Online Campaign Against A Company To Shame Them Into Fixing Your Problem
How To Get Unscrewed By Threatening To Stand Outside The Store Passing Out Flyers About Your Experience
(several of these are based on material from Ron Burley’s excellent book, “Unscrewed: The Consumer’s Guide To Fighting Back,” which everyone should read.)
THE LEGAL ROUTE
How To Take A Case To Small Claims Court
How To Win A Case In Small Claims Court Against A Big Company By Delivering Your Small Claims Court Papers To Their Mall Kiosk
How To Find A Lawyer

Do Not Call List Expiring Next Summer

Currently, 149 million phone numbers are on the federal Do Not Call list. The feds can’t claim total success. There are still telemarketers out there skirting, bending and outright ignoring the law. The Federal Trade Commission has brought more than two dozen enforcement actions against companies large and small. The Federal Communications Commission has issued dozens of citations regarding violations and announced consent decrees with several companies, including T-Mobile and AT&T. The Do Not Call list doesn’t apply to:

• Charities
• Polticians
• Surveys
• Companies Who Had Prior Business Relationship With You

 There’s little doubt that the federal Do Not Call list has made dinnertimes much quieter across the nation.

There’s just one problem: Registration of your number on the Do Not Call list isn’t permanent. After five years, the ban on calling your number is lifted unless you renew your registration. FTC spokesman Mitch Katz recommends waiting until next summer to renewing the registration, “By renewing now, you shave at least a year off the protection time you’d otherwise get. If you were one of the early sign-ups, as I was, you’d get protection until summer 2013 if you renew in 2008, when the current five-year period expires. By renewing this year, I’d be protected only until 2012.” Then again, you might not care, particularly if the penalty for forgetting to renew is having to talk to some jerk about time shares.

Here’s a list of calculators ranging from Mortgage APR to Auto Rebate vs. Low Interest Financing to Hourly Paycheck.

Free Email Address Verifier

If, for whatever reason, you need to verify someone’s email address, try Verify-Email.org, a free email address verifier. Just enter in the email addy, click “verify,” and go. The format, domain, and user are all checked by actually connecting to the mail server to see if everything is copasetic.